i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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