The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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