help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
