I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
