you traded sex for a burrito?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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