One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
kristin has been a bad kristin
if only i could text you this smell
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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