Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This toilet bowl is my home.
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