I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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