I just made out with a guy for $7.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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