Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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