you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
