Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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