She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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