Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Church boner. Awkwardddd
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
