Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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