I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
