After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
