I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
