So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize