New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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