I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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