New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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