I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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