is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
