i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
