i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
