Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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