Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
