on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
