I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize