I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
they're like a gay fantastic four
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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