Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
