Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
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