get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
