I want to stick my p in your. b.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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