im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
