We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Randomize
