He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
