girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
