Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
