just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
