Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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