you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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