Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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