how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
