Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Randomize
