Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
