Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I can text with my tongue
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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