Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
