i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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