billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
