playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
