watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
