I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
