maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
