It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
