in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
