With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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