i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
