I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
as a side note pls kill me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
