we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
