dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
