Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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