is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
