she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
