Your dad touched me again.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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