oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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